The Breakfast Club

"Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain...

...and an athlete...

...and a basket case...

...a princess...

...and a criminal...

Does that answer your question? Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club."

"Screws fall out all the time. The world is an imperfect place."

"I don't understand what? You think I don't understand pressure, Claire? Well fuck you! Fuck you! Know why I'm here today? Do you?! I'm here because Mr. Ryan found a gun in my locker."

Vernon: "What if your home, what if your family... what if your dope were on fire?"

Bender: "Impossible sir, it's in Johnson's underwear."

"When you grow up, your heart dies."

"I might as well not even exist at this school, remember?"

"How come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up we'll all get up. It'll be anarchy." 

"It's like me, you know, with my grades. Like, when I, when I step outside myself kinda, and when I, when I look in at myself you know? And I see me and I don't like what I see, I really don't."

"Could you describe the ruckus sir?"

"Don't mess with the bull young man, you'll get the horns."

"I have just as many feelings as you do. And it hurts just as much when somebody steps on them."

"I wanna be just like you. I figure all I need is a lobotomy and some tights."

"We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that's all."

"When I was a kid, I wanted to be John Lennon."

Bender: "Wow Brian, this is a very nutritious lunch. Did your mom marry Mr.Rogers?"

Brian: "No, Mr. Johnson"

Allison:"I'd do that. I'll do anything sexual, and I don't need a million dollars to do it either. I'm a nymphomaniac."

Brian: "Are your parents aware of this?"

"Eat. My. Shorts."

Brian: "I'm a fucking idiot because I can't make a lamp?"

Bender: "No. You're a genius because you can't make a lamp."

"But face it. You're a neo maxi zoom dweebie, what would you be doing if you weren't out making yourself a better citizen?"

Andrew: "My God, are we gonna be like our parents?"
Claire: "Not me...ever"
Allison: "It's unavoidable, it just happens."
Claire: "What happens?"
Allison: "When you grow up, your heart dies."

"Are you gonna be, like, a shopping bag lady? You know, like, sit in alleyways and, like, talk to buildings and wear men's shoes and that kinda thing?"

"Like, excuse me for being a virgin." 

"You keep eating your hand and you're not gonna be hungry for lunch..."

"You ought to spend a little more time trying to make something of yourself and a little less time trying to impress people."

"Oh, obscene finger gestures from such a pristine girl."

"Well not at present, but I can see you really pushing maximum density. See I'm not sure if you know this, but there are two kinds of fat people: there's fat people that were born to be fat, and there's fat people that were once thin but became fat... so when you look at 'em you can sorta see that thin person inside. You see, you're gonna get married, you're gonna squeeze out a few puppies and then, uh..."

"Now this is the thought that wakes me up in the middle of the night. That when I get older, these kids are going to take care of me."

Andrew: "So... what's your poison?"

Andrew: "... Ok, forget I asked."

Allison: "Vodka."

Andrew: "Vodka? When do you drink vodka."

Allison: "Whenever."

Andrew: "How much?"

Allison: "Tons."

My impression of life at Big Bri's house, "Son?" "Yeah, Dad?" "How was your day, son?" "Great, Dad. How's yours?" "Super. Say, how would like to go fishing this weekend?" "Great, Dad. But I got homework to do." "That's okay, son. You can do it on the boat." "Gee." "Hon, isn't our son swell?" "Yes, dear. Isn't life swell?"

Allison: "It was a hand gun?"
Brian: "No, it was a flare gun, went off in my locker."
Andrew: "Really?"

Brian: "It's not funny... Yes it is. Fuckin' elephant was destroyed!"

"I don't think either one of them gives a shit about me. It's like they use me just to get back at each other."

"Don't you ever talk about my friends. You don't know any of my friends. You don't look at any of my friends. And you certainly wouldn't condescend to speak to any of my friends. So you just stick to the things you know: shopping, nail polish, your father's BMW, and your poor, rich drunk mother in the Caribbean."

"That's very clever, sir. But what if there's a fire? I think violating fire codes and endangering the lives of children would be unwise at this juncture in your career, sir."

"Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says..."

Bender: "YOU ARE A BITCH."

Claire: "Why? 'Cause I'm telling the truth, that makes me a bitch?"

Bender: "NO. 'Cause you know how shitty that is to do someone, and you don't got the balls to stand up to your friends and tell them you're gonna like who you wanna like."

Claire: "See you're afraid that they won't take you. You don't belong, so you just have to dump all over it."

John: "Well, it wouldn't have anything to do with you activities people being assholes...now would it?"

Claire: "Well you wouldn't know; you don't even know any of us."

John: "Well, I don't know any lepers either, but I'm not gonna run out and join one of their fucking clubs."

“Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?”

"And afterwards, when I was sittin' in Vernon's office, all I could think about was Larry's father. And Larry havin' to go home and...and explain what happened to him. And the humiliation...fucking humiliation he must've felt. It must've been unreal...I mean, I mean, how do you apologize for something like that?"

"Chicks cannot hold their smoke, dat's what it is."

"You think he's funny? You think this is cute? You think he's "bitchin," is that it? Let me tell you something. Look at him - he's a bum. You want to see something funny? You go visit John Bender in five years. You'll see how goddamned funny he is."

Allison: "I like that black shit! Please. Why are you being nice to me?"

Claire: "Because you're letting me!"

"Hey, homeboy, what do you say we close that door, we'll get the prom queen impregnated."

Bender: "Carl? How does one become a janitor?"

Carl: "You wanna be a janitor?"

Bender: "No, I just want to know how one becomes a janitor. Because, you see, Brian here is very interested in pursuing a career in the custodial arts."

Carl: "Oh really? You guys think I'm just some untouchable peasant? Serf? Peon? Well, maybe so. But following a broom around after shitheads like you for the last 8 years, I've learned a couple of things. I look through your letters. I look through your lockers. I listen to your conversations, you don't know that but I do. I am the eyes and ears of this institution, my friends."

Carl: "By the way, that clock's 20 minutes fast."

"And these children, that you spit on as they try to change their worlds are immune to your consolations. They're quite aware of what they're doing though."