Asylum

"Mental illness is the fashionable explanation for sin." - Sister Jude

"I'm not crazy." - Kit

"I was hoping there’d be a glimmer of horror… a glimmer of that precious girl who was too afraid to even take a bite of my candy apple." - Dr. Arden

"You know I can do it, Oliver. I’m goddamned plucky, remember?” - Lana

"We're all going to be together in the dark, watching The Sign of the Cross. A movie full of fire, sex, and the death of Christians. What fun." - Sister Mary Eunice

Kit: "Dr. Thredson, he... he said some things that are starting to make sense."

Grace: "Well, if you were crazy, they wouldn't make sense to you. Self-doubt is a sure sign of sanity."Kit: "Wait, you're confusing me. If... you're saying that if I'm crazy, then I wouldn't believe Dr. Threadson, but if I'm sane, then my crazy stories would be true?"Grace: "I have no idea what you just said."

Sister Mary Eunice: "I've taken the liberty of choosing one, Sister Jude. A cane befitting their... transgression. "
Sister Jude: "I don't know what's gotten into you lately, Sister. But it's a decided improvement. "

"The devil is at Briarcliff in your favorite young nun. Guard your thoughts, use your rosary. Each bead is His name. This is your moment, Timothy." - Angel of Death

"Sr. Jude calls this her stairway to Heaven." - Sister Mary Eunice

Shachath: "Jude, we've been doing this dance for so many years. Are you sure you're ready?"
Judy: "I'm sure. I'm ready now. Kiss me..."

"Do you think I'm full of shame and regret for what I've done now, Sister? You could shave me bald as a cue ball and I'd still be the hottest tamale in this joint." - Shelly

"Childish? Hell, I'm the Queen of Candyland." - Judy

Sister Jude: "This is not a meat locker. Here, you will repent for your crimes to the only judge that matters: the Almighty God."

Kit: "There is no God. Not a God who would create the things I saw."

Sister Jude: "Your story about little green men? That won't do here."

Kit: "They weren't human. They were monsters."

Sister Jude: "All monsters are human. You're a monster."

"I'm telling you that battle-axe has secrets. Under all that piousness and fidelity there's a real darkness." - Lana

Judy: "They don't know, but I don't need the hat. I can fly without it. One of these days I'm gonna fly my ass right outta here!" 
Kit: "I don't doubt it."

"Oh, please, take me, heavenly host! Won't you free me - oh, shut up, you stupid sow! ... She likes it here... we like it here... and we have work to do." - Sister Mary Eunice

"You have quite a suspicious mind, Sister, bordering on the delusional. Or maybe it’s just a form of projection. A defense to protect your own guilty conscience." - Dr. Thredson

Sister Jude: "Shelley was brought to us having been given the preposterous diagnosis by a psychiatrist comparing her to a wood nymph."

Lana: "You mean a nymphomaniac?"

“Come on big boy, show me what you got. Your little bride of Christ had an awakening. Not to the Lord, but the power of sex, lust, desire.” - Sister Mary Eunice

"Now... I have work to do, and you're either with me, or you're against me. And if you're against me, even God can't help you.” - Sister Mary Eunice

Dr. Arden: "When the monsignor brought me out of retirement to run Briarcliff's medical unit, we made a gentleman's agreement."

Sister Jude: "Curious, since only one of you is a gentleman."

Dr. Arden: "The last time I suggested electroshock therapy, you accused me of being a sadistic barbarian."

Sister Jude: "I prayed about it. When I wasn't praying for you to find a halfway decent haberdasher."

"And the Lord said to the cripple, take up thy bed, and fly...!" - Jed

"Now? The Christians are about to be eaten!" - Sister Mary Eunice

"I'd have done the same thing if I believed what you believe but I'm innocent." - Kit

"So, "Anne Frank," is it? What a relief it will be to millions of schoolchildren to know you survived." - Sister Jude

"She's been on ice for a while. Normally by now, I would have removed the skin and head. Don't worry, she won't bite. I took her teeth." - Dr. Thredson

"I know you were a petty criminal, thrown in jail for shoplifting a loaf of bread, and while you were in there, the jailers went caroling in the cell block, and five men held you down and took your virginity. Well... the first one did. The others took your dignity, and your self-esteem, and... most importantly... your Christmas spirit. But then you got out and you found this suit, and it gave you everything you were missing. You had the power, Leigh. You can have it again. Who do you want to be? The victim? Or the victor?” - Sister Mary Eunice

Jenny: "She thinks I killed Josie."

Sister Mary Eunice: "Did you?"

Jenny: "No."

Sister Mary Eunice: "Did so."

Jenny: "How do you know?"

Sister Mary Eunice: "I know everything. I'm the Devil."

"The world is wrong." - Kit

"A mother's touch. Skin to skin contact. That's what I was craving, that's what I was missing. My whole life. But she smelled of formaldehyde. And her skin, even after I removed it, was cold. And stiff." - Dr. Thredson

Howard: "I thought all TB patients had been cleared out."

Arden: "These are the incurables. Those whose tuberculosis was too far advanced for any of the new miracle drugs to have an effect."

Howard: "God bless them."

Arden: "Well, He hasn't yet."

"All of her girl parts have been scooped out." - Sister Mary Eunice

"I come when I'm called. That's what I do, Jude. I don't judge. I never judge." - Angel of Death

"You can scream all you want, no one will hear you. Obviously the basement is soundproof. Believe me, girls with bigger sets of lungs than yours have tried before." - Dr.Thredson

Frank McCann: "Doctor, I've been thinking."

Dr. Arden: "You want to be careful, Frank — that could be dangerous."

"There is no God, but there is a Santa Claus!" - Leigh

Sister Jude: "Make it tight, Frank."

Leigh: "Make it tight. I like it tight. Just ask Sister Chastity."

Sister Jude: "I'll deal with Sister Chastity."

Leigh: "You might start by picking a new name for her."

"The devil doesn't reside in hell, Mr. Walker. He lives right here in the frontal gyrus; the occipital lobes. Inside those beautiful brains lies the secret of understanding the darkness of the human psyche, and ten of them put together are not as dark as what resides right here in this cute, blond melon." - Dr. Arden

"Come on, goddammit, give me a cigarette. I think I've earned it." - Sister Jude

Sister Jude: "There's going be some changes around here, starting with that."

Lana: "Well, hot damn."

"You know how this goes. You make a sound, I bash your head in." - Lana

Monsignor Howard: "Your voice had the gift of moral clarity. I owe you an apology. She's destroyed you, and now she's destroyed me. I need your counsel. What should I do?"

Judy: "Kill her."

"You have no idea what it means to have lost you." - Dr. Arden

"It's an extraordinary thing. You know that? You throw me in the madhouse, you strip away everything I have, everything I know, you treat me like a rabid dog, like a madwoman. And you know what happens? I'm blessed with the gift of total clarity. I am more sane now as a madwoman than I ever was as the head of Briarcliff." - Judy

Detective Byers: "You're one tough cookie."

Lana: "I am tough, but I'm no cookie."

"I wonder, did her dark meat slide off the bone any easier than the other victims?" - Sister Jude

"Why are you writing about him? He's just another maniac!" - Kit

"The cruelest thing of all is false hope." - Sister Jude

Sister Jude: "I do hope you know what you are in for. The loneliness, the heartbreak, the sacrifice you will face as a woman with a dream on her own."

Lana: "You don't have any idea of what I'm capable of."

Sister Jude: "Well, then, look at you, Ms. Lana Banana. Just remember if you look in the face of evil, evil's gonna look right back at you."

"You are gonna give me that book because it's my fate to have it. You see I have a plan to meet my mother. And when I see her I'm going to greet her with a polite hello, Ms Winters, do you know who I am? And, she'll shake her head in ignorance and then I'll present this book of lies. And, then I'll say, "I'm in your book, except I didn't die. I'm the piece of trash you threw away 48 years ago. I'm your son." When she fully understands who it is standing in front of her, I'll take out my 9 mm handgun, point it at her face, and pull the trigger. And, I would have finally completed my father's work. But, first, I'm going to need that book." - Johnny

"A sexual deviant, a Mexican, and a pinhead won't get far in this storm. I hope they drown." - Sister Jude

"One day, I'll bury you." - Lana

"Dr. Arden, you still see me as microcephalic. No-one takes a pinhead seriously. When my sister’s husband drowned her baby and sliced his ears off, he told everybody that I did it. They tied me up and paraded me in front of a judge. He took one look at the shape of my head and I was locked up for good. That’s how it works with us freaks. We get blamed for everything.” - Pepper

"I hardly think so, Lana ... I'm clearly insane." - Dr. Thredson

Kit: "Grace."
Grace: "Come on. Lana knows a way out."
Lana: "No. He can't come with us. Get away from us."
Kit: "I read what you wrote about me. I'm not a killer or a psychopath."
Lana: "You're a liar. Get away from us."
Grace: "Stop. I'm not leaving without him."
Lana: "I am not setting him loose so he can kill again." 
Grace: "You're wrong. We'll go find the way out ourselves."
Lana: "Help! He's escaping! The killer is escaping! Help me! In the hallway! He's trying to get out!"

"You think I'm crazy. Oh, wait. That'd be you. I think we established that when you chained me to the bed and called me Mommy." - Lana

"Hey, Sister. I have a cucumber in my room but not because I was hungry." - Shelly

“You were a very naughty girl last night. You tried to fly away, so I had to clip your wings.” - Dr. Arden

"Kill me." - Shelly

"You can swear all you like, Mr. Walker, but I will get to the truth. In here. We have all the time in the world." - Dr. Arden

"What were you feeding out there? I guess I'll have to ask Sr. Jude...she scares you, doesn't she? She scares you to death. Let me look around and I won't tell Sr. Horrible about your night-time forays or your secret tunnel." - Lana

"They laugh at you, Dr. Arden, they make jokes. Here's a good one. Knock knock. Who's there? Arden. Arden who? Arden you the quack who'd make a better duck." - Pepper

"Daddy will be there in a minute." - Kit