Murder House

"Excuse me, you are going to die in there." - Adelaide

"Hi, I'm Tate. I'm dead. Wanna hook up?" - Tate

"One of the comforts of having children is knowing one's youth has not fled, but merely been passed down to a new generation. They say when a parent dies, a child feels his own mortality but when a child dies, it's immortality that a parent loses." - Constance

"I used to think you were like me. That you were attracted to the darkness. But Tate, you are the darkness." - Violet

 "I'm not gonna off myself. So you can go back to your policy of benign neglect." - Violet

"You're the only light I've ever known. You've changed me, Violet." - Tate

"They come, they go, I stay."- Moira

 "Close your eyes and remember everything is gonna be okay. I love you." - Tate

 "The Devil is real and he’s not some little red man with horns and a tail. He can be beautiful because he's a fallen angel and he used to be God's favorite." - Leah

"So we're the Addams family now?" - Violet

"He's a sensitive boy, you know that; A young man with too deep feelings, the soul of a poet, but none of the grit or steel that acts as a bulwark against... these horrors of this world." - Constance

"Life's too short for so much sorrow." - Nora

"I prepare for the noble war. I'm calm; I know the secret. I know what's coming, and I know no one can stop me, including myself. I kill people I like. Some of them beg for their life. I don't feel sad. I don't feel anything. It's a filthy world we live in. It's a filthy goddamn helpless world, and honestly, I feel like I am helping to take them away from the shit and the piss and the vomit that run through the street. I am helping to take them somewhere clean and kind. The world is a filthy place; It's a filthy goddamn horror show. There's so much pain, you know? There's so much… There is something about all that blood; I drown in it. The Indians believed that blood holds all the bad spirits, and once a month in ceremonies they would cut themselves to let the spirits go free. Now, there is something smart about that, very smart. I like that. You think I'm crazy?" - Tate

"I'm not a whore, Ben! I matter!" - Hayden

"You'll come to understand, Violet, that the word 'ancient' will lose all its meaning when your entire existence is one long today." - Moira

"Give me my treat. You don't want the trick!" - Larry

Tate: "I was afraid my big dick wouldn't work."
Ben:  "What?"
Tate: "That's why I didn't take the meds. I was afraid my dick wouldn't work, because I met someone."

"No. Your denial is impressive. You're a ghost, Mrs. Harmon. I don't take orders from ghosts." - Moira


"I tried to save you... I did. I tried to make you throw them up. You threw up some, not enough. You took so many Violet. You died crying. I held you. You were safe. You died... loved. I hardly feel anything. I didn't want you to find out this way, Violet. You or your parents. I had this idea that if you chose to die... with me... you wouldn't be so sad. I never wanted you too see this. I'm so sorry, Violet." - Tate

"Hey, bitches, you get all that slime off my baby yet?" - Hayden

Larry: "I'm trying very hard not to judge you."
Ben: "Me? You murdered your entire family."
Larry: "Yes. But I was never unfaithful."

"The more you fear something, the more power you give it." - Ben

"I used to come here... when the world closed in and got so small I couldn't breathe. I'd look out at the ocean, and I'd think... "Yo, douche bag, high school counts for jack shit." Kurt Cobain, Quentin Tarantino, Brando, DeNiro, Pacino, all high school dropouts. I... hated high school. So I'd come here and I'd look out at this vast, limitless expanse. Then it's like, that's your life, man. You can do anything, could be anything. Screw high school. That's... it's just a blip in your timeline. Don't get stuck there." - Tate


"I'm tired of hurting people." - Tate

"Dear God, thank you for the salty pig meat we are about to eat, along with the rest of the indigestible swill. And thank you for our new charade of our family. My father ran away when I was only six. If I'd have known any better, I would have joined him,. And, also, because she's been trying to get back into this house ever since she lost it, Lord, a big thank you for blinding the asshole that's doing my mother, so that he can't see what everybody knows, she doesn't really love him." - Tate

"In 1994, I set my mom's boyfriend on fire, and then I shot and killed 15 kids at Westfield High. I murdered the gay couple who lived here before you, and I raped your wife." - Tate

"She seemed so sad. I’ve decided to give her a smile that will last forever…" -Charles
I love you. There, I said it...not just on some chalkboard. I would never let anybody or anything hurt you. I’ve never felt that way about anyone." - Tate

"If you love somebody, you should never hurt them. Never." - Tate

"Wanna listen to Morrissey? He's cool. And he's pissy, and he hates everyone and everything." - Violet

 "I hate it here. I hate everyone. All their bourgeois designer bullshit, the east coast was much cooler. At least we had weather" - Violet

"And the worst part is that six months earlier my mom had, like, this brutal miscarriage. The baby was seven months old, we had to have this macabre funeral... Have you ever seen a baby coffin?" - Violet

 "Like who I'm gonna live with after you get divorced? Is there a third option, cause both of you kind of make me wanna kill myself." - Violet

 "I'm finding it really hard to look at your face, because I really, really want to bash it in." - Vivien

"You’re doing it wrong. If you’re trying to kill yourself, cut vertically. They can’t stitch that up. And if you're trying to kill yourself, you might also try locking the door." - Tate

"He said that, in-between my thighs, I tasted like raspberries and cream" - Hayden

"You're a cheater! Young girls, old ladies with feather dusters?! You're so weird and pathetic I'm surprised you haven't gone after me." - Violet

"I questioned my sanity when I first found out, but this house will make you a believer." - Constance

"I'm not naive to the ways of men. Their need to objectify, conquer. They see what they want to see. Women, however, see into the soul of a person" - Moira

"Your sense of humor was and continues to be a delight." - Moira

"You need to pay for what you've done." - Moira

"If you're about to diagnose me with Post Traumatic Shock Syndrome, I'm going to bash your goddamn face in." - Vivien

 "Just a smile or a kind word could open the gates to Heaven." - Constance


"Don't make me kill you again." - Constance


"You're all I want! You're all I have!" - Tate

"Every time I find my heart break in just a sliver for you, I suddenly remember; You brought this all on yourself." - Constance

"Well that's all nice and dandy, but what about the gays I mean, how do we get rid of them?" - Constance

"I have grieved enough for two lifetimes. Most people would be broken by the deaths of their children, but my nature would not permit such weakness." - Constance

"You're gonna regret it. You're gonna regret it. You're gonna regret it." - Adelaide

Adelaide: "Are you a virgin?"
Violet: "Yes... aren't you?"
Adelaide: "Hell no!"

 "I would never let anybody or anything hurt you." - Tate

"Of course, I'm proud of you Charles. You are a man after all." - Nora

 "What you are saying is madness. I'm not dead." - Nora

"I think gay porn is hot." - Tate

Chad: "Your husband is very..."
Vivien: "Handsom?"
Chad: "Nervous."

"Oh... I'm quaking in my loafers. What are you going to do? Murder me?" - Chad

"...and for the record, I like leather. Not latex." - Patrick

Ben: "What about Violet?"
Violet: "What about Violet? I'm a teenage girl. Not exactly a cakewalk."
Ben: "Violet. What kind of father have I been? You weren't eating, you weren't going to school. You were already gone. I didn't get it."
Violet: "I shut you out. I was afraid it would break you."
Ben: "I've missed you so much."
Violet: "I was never getting into Harvard. But I saved you a shitload of money."
Ben: "Yeah, you did."

"So what do shrinks think when a wildly brilliant patient doesn't talk to punish said psychiatrist? I bet you think about sex." - Tate

"I used to be like you. Until I was 25. When out of the blue my cleaning lady shows up as I'm brushing my teeth. Except she's got no toilet brush and rubber gloves, she's naked and bloody. Her husband murdered her with an ice pick." - Billie

"I'm not entirely sure if I have the patience to be a mother" - Nora

Constance: "What you are planning to do is unnatural."
Chad: "Deodorant's unnatural, but it's a public good. We'll make excellent parents."
Constance: "Man shall not lie with man. It is an abomination."
Chad: "So's that hairdo, but I figure that's your business."

"The Holy Ghost merely whispered in the Virgin Mary's ear and she begat the son of God. If the Devil's going to use a human womb for his spawn, he's going to want a little more bang for his buck." - Billie

"A writer writes, a surgeon cuts. I think you will find these pieces more portable." - Charles

"But now there are no more virgin plots. We live on top of each other. That's California now... and that's the world. there is no more space, and yet it it's human nature to want to claim your own turf. So build away, we do. every time you put up one of these... monstrous temples to the gods of travertine, you're building on top of someone else's life." - Constance

Nora: "Tell me, what's your name?"
Young Tate: "Tate."
Nora: "If Thaddeus comes back to scare you again, just shut your eyes and say GO AWAY, you understand, Tate? He'll mind you because I'm going to protect you."
Young Tate: "I wish you were my mommy."

"You pathetic homo's couldn't steal the shit out of your own asses!" - Tate

Violet: "Why are you bullshitting me?!?
Teacher: "If the bullet had been an inch to the right, it would've missed my spine and I would have walked out of here. Might have even been able to stop him. An inch higher, it would have killed me. Sometimes shit just happens.
Violet: "Good people don't just have a bad day and start shooting people."
Teacher: "Maybe he wasn't a good person."

"I have long stopped asking why the mad do mad things." - Constance


"There are three reasons I deal with women; sex, money or makin' me sandwiches. And unless you're planning on going into my kitchen and slapping some ham between two slices of bread, this conversation is over." - Joe


Tour Guide: "The Montgomery murder-suicide was only the first of many to occur behind these bloody walls."
Marcy: "Let's not put that on the listing."

Violet: "Gross!"
Tate: "You're right, it is. You mutilating yourself."
Violet: "You do it."
Tate: "Not any more. Promise me you'll never cut yourself again."
Violet: "I promise."

"I want what's in your womb." - Hayden

"I am so proud of you, Addy. I admire you so for what you were able to overcome. And I think you were beautiful. Addy, I think you were the most beautiful girl I ever met." - Constance

"Why does being dead make me so horny?" - Hayden

"Sometimes, people just go mad." - Moira

"Her husband, a doctor, locks her away in the upstairs bedroom to recuperate from a slight hysterical tendency. Staring at the yellow wallpaper day after day, she begins to hallucinate that there are women trapped in the pattern… Half mad, she scrapes off the wallpaper to set the women free. When her husband finally unlocks the door he finds her circling the room, touching the wallpaper, whispering “I finally got out of here.” - Moira

"I'll get the shovel. You get the bleach." - Moira

"I painted it black. I know how you don't like normal things." - Tate

"No matter how gruesome or horrible the murder, you can always find someone who'll buy the house." - Marcy

"Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I was destined for great things. I was going to be somebody. Person of significance. Star of the silver screen, I once thought. But... my dreams became nightmares. Instead of laurels, funeral wreaths. Instead of glory, heh, bitter disappointment. Cruel afflictions. Now I understand. Tragedy was preparing me for something greater. Every loss that came before was a lesson. I was being prepared. Now I know for what. This child... a remarkable boy. Destined for greatness. In need of a remarkable mother. Someone forged in the fires of adversity, who can guide him. With--with firmness. With love." - Constance