Little Miss Sunshine

"A real loser is someone who's so afraid of not winning he doesn't even try." - Grandpa

Dwayne: "I wish I could just sleep until I was eighteen and skip all this crap-high school and everything-just skip it."

Frank: "Do you know who Marcel Proust is?"

Dwayne: "He's the guy you teach."

Frank: "Yeah. French writer. Total loser. Never had a real job. Unrequited love affairs. Gay. Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads. But he's also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare. Anyway, he uh... he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, Those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn't learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you're 18... Ah, think of the suffering you're gonna miss. I mean high school? High school-those are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that."

"I hate everyone." - Dwayne

Olive: "Grandpa, am I pretty?"

Grandpa: "You are the most beautiful girl in the world."

Olive: "You're just saying that."

Grandpa: "No! I'm madly in love with you and it's not because of your brains or your personality."

Olive: "I'd like to dedicate this to my grandpa, who showed me these moves."

Pageant MC: "Aww, that is so sweet. Is he here? Where's your grandpa right now?"

Olive: "In the trunk of our car."

Olive: "Why were you unhappy?"

Frank: "I fell in love with someone...who didn't love me back."

Olive: "Who?"

Frank: "One of my grad students. I was very much in love with him."

Olive: "Him? You fell in love with a boy?"

Frank: "Very much so."

Olive: "That's silly."

Frank: "You're right it was silly. It was very silly."

Grandpa: "That's another word for it."

"Oh my God, I'm getting pulled over. Everyone, just... pretend to be normal." - Richard

"Go Hug Mom." - Dwayne

Sheryl: "I'm so glad you're still here."

Frank: "Well, that makes one of us."

"We have to let Olive be Olive." - Sheryl

Olive: "Do you eat ice cream?"

Miss California: "Yes. My favorite is Chocolate Cherry Garcia... except technically I think it's a frozen yogurt."

Grandpa: "Are you gettin' any?"

Richard: "Dad!"

Grandpa: "You can tell me, Dwayne. Are you gettin' any?"

Richard: "Come on, please."

Grandpa: "No? Jesus. You're what? Fifteen? My God, man!"

Richard: "Dad!"

Grandpa: "You should be gettin' that young stuff."

Richard: "Dad!"

Grandpa: "That young stuff is the best stuff in the whole world."

Richard: "Hey! Hey! Dad! That's enough! Stop it!"

Grandpa: "Will you kindly not interrupt me, Richard! See, right now you're jailbait, they're jailbait. It's perfect. I mean, you hit 18, man! You're talkin' about three to five."

Sheryl: "What did he say?"

Richard: "I'll tell you when I regain consciousness."

"No one gets left behind! No one gets left behind! Outstanding soldier!" - Frank

Richard: "Sarcasm is the refuge of losers."

Frank: "It is? Really?"

Richard: "Sarcasm is losers trying to bring winners down to their level."

Frank: "Wow, Richard, you've really opened my eyes to what a loser I am. How much do I owe you for those pearls of wisdom?"

Richard: "Oh, that ones on the house."

Frank: "I'm glad you're talking again, Dwayne. You're not nearly as stupid as you look."

"You can't fly jets if you're colorblind." - Frank

Sheryl: "What happened?"

Frank: "He's colorblind. He can't fly."

Sheryl: "Oh, Jesus... oh, no."

Sheryl: "Dwayne...? Dwayne, honey, I'm sorry. Dwayne, come on. We have to go."

Dwayne: "I'm not going."

Sheryl: "Dwayne..."

Dwayne: "I said I'm not, okay? I don't care, I'm not getting on that bus again."

Sheryl: "Dwayne, for better or worse, we're your family..."

Dwayne: "No, you're not my family, okay? I don't want to be your family! I hate you people! I hate you! Divorce? Bankrupt? Suicide? You're losers! You are losers!"

Sheryl: "Dwayne..."

Dwayne: "No, please just leave me here, Mom. Okay? Please, please. Please just leave me here."

"There's two kinds of people in this world, there's winners and there's losers. Okay, you know what the difference is? Winners don't give up." - Richard

Pageant Assistant Pam: "Are you authorized to be here?"

Dwayne: "No."

Dwayne: "Where are the dressing rooms?"

Girl in Hallway: "Are you allowed to be here?"

Dwayne: "Just tell me where the dressing rooms are!"

Olive: "Do you think there's a Heaven?"

Frank: "Well, it's hard to say, Olive. I don't think anyone knows for sure."

Olive: "I know, but what do you think?"

Frank: "Well... um... uh..."

Olive: "I think there is."

Frank: "Think I'll get in?"

Olive: "Yeah."

Frank: "Promise?"

Olive: "Yeah."

"Jesus, I'm tired. I'm so f--ing tired. You know how tired I am? If a girl came up to me and begged me to f-- her, I couldn't do it. That's how tired I am." - Grandpa

Olive: "Mom? Dad?"

Richard: "What is it, hon?"

Olive: "Grandpa won't wake up."

Pageant Official Jenkins: "What is your daughter doing?"

Richard: "She's kickin' ass... that's what she's doing."

Officer Martinez: "Okay, you're out. On the condition that you never enter your daughter in a beauty pageant in the state of California, ever again. Ever."

Frank: "I think we can live with that."

Frank: "Good night Dwayne."

Dwayne: [scribbles on notepad] "Don't kill yourself tonight."

Frank: "Not on your watch Dwayne. I wouldn't do that to you."

Dwayne: [on notepad] "Welcome to hell."

Frank: "Thanks Dwayne. Coming from you that means a lot."

"Losers are people who are so afraid of not winning, they don't even try." - Grandpa

"There are two kinds of people in this world, winners and losers." - Richard

Frank: "I take it you didn't like it at Sunset Manor?"

Sheryl: "Frank..."

Grandpa: "Are you kidding me? It was a paradise. They got pool... They got golf... Now I'm stuck with Mr. Happy here, sleeping on a sofa. Look, I know you are a homo and all, but maybe you can appreciate this. You go to one of those places, there's four women for every guy. Can you imagine what that's like?"

Frank: "You must have been very busy."

Grandpa: "Ho oh. I had second degree burns on my johnson, I kid you not."

Frank: "Really?"

Grandpa: "Forget about it."

Richard: "It's this Sunday? Why can't Jeff and Cindy take her?"

Sheryl: "They have some equestrian thing in Santa Barbara."

Richard: "You know, they do that horse shit every-single-weekend."

Sheryl: "Well, it's the nationals. They're taking both horses, so apparently it's a big deal."

"Who is that? Nietzsche? So you stopped talking because of Friedrich Nietzsche? Far out." - Frank

Sheryl: "He started snorting heroin."

Frank: "You started snorting heroin?"

Grandpa: "Let me tell ya, don't do that stuff. When you're young, you're crazy to do that shit."

Frank: "Well what about you?"

Grandpa: "What about me? I'm old. When you're old you're crazy not to do it."

"I apologize for the things I said. I was upset, and I didn't really mean them." - Dwayen

Frank: "I couldn't help noticing Dwayne has stopped speaking."

Sheryl: "Oh, yeah, he's taken a vow of silence."

Richard: "You know, Olive, Grandpa would have been proud of you today."

Olive: "Really?"

Sheryl: "You were great."

Frank: "You were better than great."

Dwayne: "You were incredible."

Dwayne: "But. I. Am. Not. Going. To. Have. Any. Fun."

Frank: "Yeah, we're all with ya on that one, Dwayne."

Frank: "Did you know that "a la mode", in French, translates literally to "in the fashion"? A la moooode... It comes from the latin word modus to do or proper measure."

Richard: "Frank shut up."

"Olive, Richard is an idiot. I like a woman with meat on her bones." - Grandpa

Olive: "Can I get the, uh, waffles? And, um, what does "a la mode-y" mean?"

Diner Waitress: "Oh that means it comes with ice cream!"

Olive: "Ok. A la mode-y then."

"Have I mentioned that I am the preeminent Proust scholar in the US?" - Frank

"We were driving for five or six hours... and we thought he was napping..." - Richard

"Is he always like this? How can you stand it?" - Frank

Richard: "I can't slow down. I can't slow down."

Sheryl: "Come on, Olive."

Frank: "Come on, sweetie, jump. Jump in the car."

Olive: "Hi, Uncle Frank!"

Frank: "Oh, hey, Olive. Wow, you're getting big, almost like a real person."

"You know what? -- beauty contests. Life is one --ing beauty contest after another. School, then college, then work... -- that. And -- the Air Force Academy. If I want to fly, I'll find a way to fly. You do what you love, and -- the rest." - Dwayne

"We're going to California." - Richard

"The girl who won had to forfeit her crown. I don't know why, something about diet pills. But anyway, now she has a place in the state contest." - Sheryl

Olive: "What are you guys talking about?"

Grandpa: "Politics."

Olive: "Oh."