Almost Famous

"It’s all happening."

"They don’t even know what it is to be a fan. Y’know? To truly love some silly little piece of music, or some band, so much that it hurts."

William: "Somebody who sold you to Humble Pie for fifty bucks and a case of beer! I was there! I was there!... Look- I'm sorry."

Penny Lane: "What kind of beer?"

"You wanna be a true friend to them? Be honest, and unmerciful."

"I always tell the girls never take it seriously. If you never take it seriously, you never get hurt. If you never get hurt, you always have fun. And if you ever get lonely, you can just go to the record store and visit your friends." - Penny Lane

"You’ll meet them all again on the long journey to the middle."

William: "So Russell... what do you love about music?"

Russell: "To begin with, everything."

"Groupies sleep with rock stars because they want to be near someone famous. We’re here because of the music. We are ‘Band Aids.'" -Penny Lane
"Rock and roll’s a voice that says, ‘Here I am and fuck you if you can’t understand me.'"

“I am telling secrets to the one guy you don’t tell secrets to.”

"Some people have a hard time explaining rock 'n' roll. I don't think anyone can really explain rock 'n' roll. Maybe Pete Townshend, but that's okay. Rock 'n' roll is a lifestyle and a way of thinking... and it's not about money and popularity. Although, some money would be nice. But it's a voice that says, "Here I am... and fuck you if you can't understand me." And one of these people is gonna save the world. And that means that rock 'n' roll can save the world... all of us together. And the chicks are great. But what it all comes down to is that thing. The indefinable thing when people catch something in your music."

"I love you, and I’m about to boldly go where…many men…have gone before." - William

"Friendship is the booze they feed you. They want you to get drunk on feeling like you belong."
"I am a golden god!" - Russell

"Listen to Tommy with a candle burning and you’ll see your entire future."

"Music, you now, true music - not just rock n roll - it chooses you. It live in your car, or alone listening to your headphones, you know, with the cast scenic bridges and angelic choirs in your brain. It's a place apart from the vast, benign lap of America." 


"Look at this—an entire generation of Cinderellas, and there’s no glass slipper." - Elaine

Jeff Bebe: "We have got to control what's happening! There's a responsibility here."

Russell: "Excuse me, but didn't we all get into this to avoid responsibility?"

"The only true currency in this bankrupt world is what you share with someone else when you’re uncool." - Lester Bangs
"Don't take drugs!"
"And you can tell Rolling Stone magazine that my last words were … I’m on drugs!" - Russell

"Where do you get sweet? I am dark and mysterious, and pissed off! And I could be very dangerous to all of you. You should know that about me… I am the enemy!" -William

"Show me any guy who ever said he didn't want to be popular, and I'll show you a scared guy. I've studied the entire history of music. Most of the time, the best stuff is the popular stuff. It's much safer to say popularity sucks, because that allows you to forgive yourself if you suck. And I don't forgive myself. Do you?" - Jeff Bebe

"Rockstars have kidnapped my son."

"I thought maybe we could hang out, you know, do some stuff back home like... like regular stuff, get to know each other a little bit better, and then I'd see you pee." - William

"Where and when does this "real world" occur?" - William

"That groupie? She was a Band-aid! All she ever did was love your band, and you threw her away! She almost died last night while you were with Bob Dylan. You guys are always talking about the fans, the fans, the fans. She was your biggest fan! And you threw her away! And if you can't see that, then that's your biggest problem. And I love her! I love her!"

"Act Three, in which it all plays out the way she planned it. She’ll eat him alive." -Polexia Aphrodisia

“Adolescence is a marketing tool.” 

"You look awful, but it’s great. You’re living your life." – Anita Miller

"They are not your friends. These are people who want you to write sanctimonious stories about the genius of the rock stars, and they will ruin rock and roll and strangle everything we love about it." -Lester Bangs

William: "I have to go home."
Penny Lane: "You are home."

"You know, because once you go to L.A., you're gonna have friends like crazy. But they're gonna be fake friends. You know, they're gonna try to corrupt you. You got an honest face, and they're gonna tell you everything." - Lester Bangs

"99% of what passes for rock 'n' roll these days, silence is more compelling." - Lester Bangs

"Great art is about guilt and longing and, you know, love disguised as sex, and sex disguised as love." - Lester Bangs

Anita: "It’s unfair we can’t listen to our own music."

Elaine: "That is because it is about drugs and promiscuous sex."

Anita: "Simon and Garfunkel is poetry."

Elaine: "Yes, it is poetry about drugs and promiscuous sex. Honey, they’re on pot."

“I’m always home, I’m uncool.” -Lester Bangs

Russell: "Hi, Mom, it's Russell Hammond! I play guitar in Stillwater. It's my fault. How does it feel to be the mother of the future of rock journalism?... Hello? You've got a great kid. Nothing to worry about. We're taking care of him. And you should come to a show some time — join the circus!"

Elaine: "Listen to me: your charm doesn't work on me. I'm onto you. Of course you like him."

Russell: "Well, yeah."

Elaine: "He worships you people! And that's fine with you, as long as he helps make you rich."

Russell: "Rich? I don't think so—"

Elaine: "Listen to me. He's a smart, goodhearted, 15-year-old kid with infinite potential. This is not some apron-wearing mother you're talking to. I know about your Valhalla of decadence, and I shouldn't have let him go. He is not ready for your world of compromised values and diminished brain cells that you throw away like confetti. Am I speaking clearly to you?"

Russell: "Yes, ma'am."

“Call me if you need a rescue, we live in the same city.” -Penny Lane
“Sometimes I think I live in a different world.” -William 

“Does anybody remember laughter?” -Sapphire

“I didn’t invent the rainy day, man. I just own the best umbrella.” -Dennis Hope

"All right. But I'm just going to say this, and I'm going to stand by it. You should be really proud of him. 'Cause I know men, and I'll bet you do, too. And he respects women, and he likes women, and let's just pause and appreciate a man like that. You created him out of thin air, and you raised him right, and we're all looking out for him. He's doing a great job, and don't worry: he's still a virgin. And that's more than I've ever said to my own parents. So there you go... This is the maid speaking, by the way." - Sapphire

"This is Penny Lane, man, show some respect."

“He looks harmless but he does represent the magazine that trashed ‘Layla,’ broke up Cream, ripped every album Led Zeppelin ever made. Don’t forget the rules man. This little shit is the enemy. He writes what he sees.…although it would be cool to be on the cover.”

Penny Lane: "How old are you?"

William: "Eighteen."

Penny Lane: "Me too! How old are we really?"

William: "Seventeen."

Penny Lane: "Me too!"

William: "Actually, I'm sixteen."

Penny Lane: "Me too. Isn't it funny? The truth just sounds different."

William: "I'm fifteen."

William:"Do you have to be depressed to write a sad song? Do you have to be in love to write a love song? Is a song better when it really happened to you? Like "Love Thing," where did you write that and who was it about?"

Russell: "When did you get so professional?"

"From here on out, I am only interested in what is real. Real people, real feelings, that's it, that's all I'm interested in." - Russell

"Is it that hard to make us look cool?" - Jeff Bebe

William: "Russell. Jeff. Ed. Larry. I really love your band. I think the song "Fever Dog" is a big step forward for you guys. I think you guys producing it yourselves, instead of Glyn Johns, was the right thing to do. And the guitar sound... is incendiary. Incendiary. Way to go."

Russell: "Well, don't stop there!"

Jeff Bebe: "Yeah, come back here! I'm incendiary, too, man!"

“If you think Mick Jagger will be out there trying to be a rock star at age 50, you are sadly, sadly mistaken.” - Dennis Hope

“One day, you’ll be cool. Look under your bed. It will set you free.”

"Please don't give him any more acid."

"You, Aaron, are what it's all about. You're real. Your room is real. Your friends are real. Real, man, real. You know? Real. You're more important than all the silly machinery. Silly machinery. And you know it! In eleven years its going to be 1984, man. Think about that!" - Rusell

"Let's deflower the kid."

“This song explains why I’m leaving home to become a stewardess.” - Anita

"You know, I think we both wanted to, uh, to be with her. I guess she wanted us to be together." - Russell

Elaine: "Your Dad was so proud of you. He knew you were a predominantly accelerated child."

Anita: "What about me?"

Elaine: "You are rebellious and ungrateful of my love."

"Look - you should be happy for me. You don't know what he says to me in private. Maybe it is love as much as it can be..." - Penny Lane

"Can you believe these new girls? None of them use birth control and they eat all the steak!" 

William: "Don't you have any regular friends?"

Penny Lane: "Famous people are just more interesting."

Elaine: "Keep the small bills on the outside and call me if anyone gets drunk."

William: "I will call you if anyone anywhere gets drunk."

Russell: "Can we just skip the vibe, and go straight to us laughing about this?"

Jeff Bebe: "Yeah, okay."

Russell: "Because I can see by your face you want to get into it."

Jeff Bebe: "How can you tell? I'm just one of the out-of-focus guys."

"Forgive me father, for I may sin tonight."

Elaine: "Honey, don’t be a drama queen."

Anita: "F-eck you!!"

Elaine: "Hey!!"

Anita: "This is a house of lies!"

Elaine: "There it is. Your sister used the f word."

William: "I think she said feck."

Elaine: "What’s the difference?"

William: "The letter U."

"He was never a person, he was a journalist!"

"She Changed everything. She was the one that said "No more sex. No more exploiting our bodies and hearts." Just blow-jobs, and that's it!" 

"It's okay! I'm easy to forget! Just leave me behind! I'm only the fucking lead singer!" - Jeff Bebe

Dick Roswell: "Look, I love you all too. You're like a family to me. Especially since Marna left me. And listen, fellas... I just want you to know, if I took an extra dollar or two here and there... it's because I knew I'd earned it."

Russell: "Yeah. I slept with Marna, Dick."

Jeff Bebe: "I did too."

Larry Fellows: "I waited until you broke up with her, Dick. But me too."

"Oh, my God. Holy shit. Fuck! I grew up with that lampshade. I love this kitchen. I fucking love this kitchen!" - Russell

William: "What about your mom?"

Penny Lane: "She always said, "Marry up. Marry someone grand." And that's why she named me "Lady."

William: "She named you "Lady?"

Penny Lane: "Lady Goodman."

"Your looks have become a problem!" - Jeff Bebe